tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-67641863170052090662024-03-14T00:04:45.546-06:00Refracted LightWelcome to my world... A world where reality is second to laughter, where giggling is always optional, and where I make the rules! I hope you enjoy your journey into my innermost thoughts and feelings, and that your perspective is a little lighter when you go. (:
"We were made to be lovers, bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home."
Show the love!Stellar Meadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00769090748162705603noreply@blogger.comBlogger73125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6764186317005209066.post-67290240337713535522012-10-29T14:13:00.000-06:002012-10-29T14:20:26.692-06:00Almost November! (and Bigger Boobs)I've been away for a while, but I just realized it is almost November, and that means NaNoWriMo! I'm going to try again this year, so I decided to do a little practicing. That's right- more Write or Die. Seriously, I'm in love!<br />
509 words in just over 10 minutes. I've got this NaNo in the bag!!<br />
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<span style="background-color: #999999;">Yesterday, I found out I have bigger boobs.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #999999;">My whole life I've been a 32A, and I was always alright with that. I have always said that I love my size, breasts included. I've never been bothered that I am the SMALLEST SIZE available in normal stores. But yesterday, when I found out my boobs are bigger, I got kind of... Excited. Not that I felt like I wasn't as beautiful when they were smaller, but I just felt more.. Womanly. It made a difference that I did not expect. When I tried on a bra that was supposed to be my size, I was shocked to see that it didn't seem to fit. I asked the opinion of 3 different people, and they all came to the conclusion that I was a bigger size than what I had supposed. And so, I bought that bigger size. And I went home, and I put it on, and I basked in my newfound not-small-boobness. Not having the smallest boobs out there makes a difference I didn't know could be there.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #999999;">Does that make me a hypocrite? I KNOW that I was comfortable with myself before-- without a doubt. I felt beautiful, I was confident, I wasn't concerned that I was the opposite of well endowed. I had boobs, they were small, and I was happy with them. Now, I seem to feel a certain.. Self-concsiousness, a discomfort that wasn't there just 24 hours ago. Being a B cup isn't that big of a difference- is it?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #999999;">Apparently, I was TOO comfortable with myself. Because now, knowing that I am different, it seems to make me nervous. I have no reason to be nervous with myself. Having a bigger bust doesn't make me a different person, I'm certain of that. So why should I be uncomfortable in my own skin?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #999999;">As disconcerting as this is on its own, it might get worse...</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #999999;">I recently made a commitment to start working out. 3 days a week- cardio, legs, abs, arms, who knows- as well as dancing twice a week. The thing about working out... Is that it seems to create changes in a human body. And I'm well aware of this, I understand this fact, I truly am not surprised to know that this is something that happens. But... What if I start working out, I start getting a little toned, I get a little stronger.. And I panic? That wouldn't be something that I could handle. I don't want to finally get into a shape that I can be proud of.. And suddenly be too freaked out to keep it. I'm young. I should be in the best shape of my life, and I should be happy about it. So why would I be so frantic about my body changing? My body is NOT who I am. I make who I am every moment in word, thought, and deed. Not in bust size and muscle mass. There is nothing to be concerned about by way of my body changing, because I am STILL ME.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #999999;">Right?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">So there we have it. And, in case you're wondering, the above is all TRUE. Interesting.. The things you learn about yourself when you are frantically writing so your computer doesn't yell at you. Truly exciting!<br />That's all for now, folks. I love you dearly- xoxo!!</span>Stellar Meadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00769090748162705603noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6764186317005209066.post-18767139422645262302012-07-20T22:40:00.000-06:002012-07-20T22:40:00.915-06:00Makeup catch-up!If you've read my blog before, you've probably come across the post <a href="http://appleshauce.blogspot.com/2011/06/makeup-lockup.html">Makeup Lockup</a> a time or two. Recently I discovered a link to this post was shared by a dear fellow I have the pleasure of associating with regularly, and I decided the time has come for an update!!<br />
My makeup lockup happened a little over a year ago. Since then, I opened the box <b>once</b>- to put in some makeup I had missed the first time around. And guess what?<br />
<i>I've stuck with it.</i><br />
I do believe it's one of the best decisions I have ever made. Small confession- I have worn this delightful thing called <i>lip plumper</i> on a few occasions, because it is very fun. (; But there has been no foundation, coverup, blush, eyeshadow.. Just mascara, eyeliner, and (rarely) cinnamon-scented clear gloss. I'm not actually convinced it works, but it makes my lips tingly, so...<br />
In all seriousness, I feel getting rid of my makeup has accomplished what I was hoping of it- and probably a whole lot more. I am much more confident in who I am, and I know that the people who say they like me feel that way because of who I <b>am</b>, not because of a pretty face. It's <i>so</i> much easier to get ready for my day, and I'm not constantly worried about whether a part of my face is melting or not. It's just plain <i style="font-weight: bold;">easier.</i> That's right, bold AND italic! That's just how important that word is.<br />
<i>Anyway</i>, I just wanted to catch you up. Thank you for all of your love and support. Feel free to stick around-- maybe I will, too!Stellar Meadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00769090748162705603noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6764186317005209066.post-51790755012809966402012-07-20T21:58:00.000-06:002012-07-20T21:58:06.820-06:00I know more Spanish than I thought.Isn't life just amazing?! Every.single.day is a gift to be treasured. Here's the thing...<br />
When you receive a gift (and I'm talking a real <i>doozy</i> of a present), do you just toss the thing aside with a shrug, wrinkle it up, step on it, use it as a drink coaster, forget about it? No way! You take care of that gift, you use it well, you <i>appreciate</i> it. Right?<br />
Right?<br />
Basically, I've kind of been stepping on my daily prize. I wake up and I pray and thank my Father for the breath he put in my lungs this morning, and then I kind of forget that gratitude that filled me to bursting upon opening my eyes. I forget that my day is still a gift 2, 6, 10 hours in- not just the moment I become conscious of it. But <b>really</b>, it is! It's still a present <i>right now</i>, even as I write this, over <i>12 hours</i> later. Isn't that crazy?!<br />
The plan, I suppose, is to start showing my gratitude. When your great aunt Millie buys you a sweater, and she sees you wearing it, how excited is she?! Beyond just saying thank you, maybe sending a note, she knows you <i>appreciate</i> that gift for what it is, not just to be polite. You are not just telling her how you feel, you're showing her! And we all love to see that joy in another person.<br />
So why wouldn't we show the same appreciation for the <b>bright new day</b> that's being handed to us so selflessly??? Are we waking up thinking about how we can make today great, or are we hitting the snooze button and grumbling unintelligibly until we <b>must</b> get up? (Don't you worry-- I'm definitely in the latter group. \:)<br />
And now here I am, writing about it. Listening to Pandora (Grace Kelly radio. Do it-- you won't regret it!) and feeling halfway motivated. Why not make the best of every day?? I can do it, and so can you, and even if you have to get up at <b>5 AM</b> it will be okay! Because your day is a gift, made special for you, wrapped up and polished until you open it when you open your eyes.<br />
And honestly, everybody loves presents. (:Stellar Meadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00769090748162705603noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6764186317005209066.post-70812915662664266242012-03-04T19:56:00.001-07:002012-03-04T19:56:17.755-07:00Testing: SherlockWatching Sherlock with Casi. We've never seen it before, so we'll see how it goes! Jake just left, I've been eating better than sex cake, and life is good. I felt it was time to blog, but now I can't think of anything I want to say. I love my Melissa May, I can't wait for dancing on tuesday, and I don't even care if I use the best grammar or English.<br />
Love your life; it loves you.Stellar Meadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00769090748162705603noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6764186317005209066.post-60493288029015880962011-11-06T22:26:00.000-07:002011-11-06T22:26:50.776-07:00Climbing/ Lights/ NaNo Note<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><i>got soul?</i></span></div>
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<br />Stellar Meadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00769090748162705603noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6764186317005209066.post-44395830873763271742011-11-04T14:22:00.002-06:002011-11-04T14:22:57.491-06:00HalloweenA little late..<br />
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<br />Stellar Meadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00769090748162705603noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6764186317005209066.post-21850945048153455022011-11-02T16:05:00.000-06:002011-11-02T16:05:28.087-06:00Day 2NaNoWriMo day 2! I'm still up on my word count(and a few words ahead) and I am having a blast. It's not too late to jump on the bandwagon! Just dash on over to <a href="http://www.nanowrimo.org/">www.nanowrimo.org</a>, and take a peek. (: Much love to you!!<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><i>got soul?</i></span></div>Stellar Meadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00769090748162705603noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6764186317005209066.post-9857208588628864382011-10-31T22:12:00.002-06:002011-10-31T22:14:41.589-06:00First "write or die"<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">There is this truly incredible website <a href="http://www.writeordie.com/">here</a>. Pretty much, say I want to write this many words in this much time.. And it opens a new window so you can. There are badges you can put on your websites, and there are red lights and scary noises when you're stuck. Super motivational to keep writing. (: Just in time for NaNoWriMo- which starts in less than 2 hours!!<br /><br /><br />"Sometimes I simply can't believe the situations I find myself in. Take this morning, for instance. I was just minding my own business, when, bam! A moose hits me in the head. No, not a real, live, angry one. Just a stuffed moose. A plain old thing. It was crazy! I have no idea where the thing came from. There was nothing special about the moose that I could see. It was plain and simple, if a little ratty. The stitching around one of the antlers was coming loose, and it had definitely been worn down. But like I said, nothing special that I could see. At least, until I turned it over."<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">got soul?</span></i></div>
</span>Stellar Meadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00769090748162705603noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6764186317005209066.post-12774237757285989272011-10-28T01:06:00.000-06:002011-10-28T01:06:07.666-06:00Going WordlessFrom now on, I am going to attempt to use as few words as possible. My goal is to just post a picture- maybe two- to let you know what's been going down. It'll be quicker, and I think it will be fun. (: Any questions? Just email me or leave a comment. I'd love to hear what you think of whatever I post.<br />
To start you off, here's a few photos of what I've been up to!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Notice that magical little word.. Toms!</td></tr>
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Buh-bye! Have a wonderful time!</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"><i>got soul?</i></span></div>Stellar Meadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00769090748162705603noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6764186317005209066.post-18411505229778971852011-10-01T00:40:00.001-06:002011-10-01T00:40:27.271-06:00U of U vs BYU<i>Backstory: We were watching the game at Iggy's with a few friends. I had a cold, and I was just in a snuggly mood, of course. This was the first game I had really watched, and Dave was teaching me about the game. We all decided at halftime that we were going to drive to one friends house. This conversation happened on the way to the car to head over there.</i><br />
<br />
Me: When we get there, will you hold me?<br />
Dave: Of course I will.<br />
Me: Okay, good. But don't hold me like BYU holds footballs.<br />
Dave: Why not?<br />
Me: Because they don't.Stellar Meadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00769090748162705603noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6764186317005209066.post-38203918953177733812011-08-30T22:29:00.001-06:002011-08-30T22:38:01.123-06:00Story time.<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">So, I was away for a while. I had a broken computer and such. And unfortunately, some pretty intense things were happening during the time I was gone, and I desperately wanted to blog.. But I couldn't. </div><div style="text-align: left;">August 20th was my darling Aunt's wedding. I had been asked to be a bridesmaid, along with... Nichol. Yes, my biological mother. So I knew I would have to meet her. The closer the day (August 14th) that she would be here came, the more I freaked out. She posted on my facebook wall, "See you soon love!!!" (Verbatim to the exclamation points.) It scared me. Bad. I was an emotional wreck, and I'm certain I tested the patience of every single person who knew about it, probably pushing some people to their limits. I was nervous, and jittery, and crazy. I didn't know what to say or think or do. Thank heaven above for Dave and my parents. Without that support this could have gone very different. So now I might tell a story with some pictures. They will all be hers, because I didn't take any. I'm certain she won't mind.</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/s720x720/310480_2353769082271_1191495327_2917879_3143933_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/s720x720/310480_2353769082271_1191495327_2917879_3143933_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I decided the first meeting would be at Yogurtland. It was public, and I wouldn't be trapped.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My support system. I was being difficult, and he was being my hero.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/s720x720/293272_2353774282401_1191495327_2917891_4618380_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/s720x720/293272_2353774282401_1191495327_2917891_4618380_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That's her. Nichol. I was very against touching her that first night, and I think that was fairly obvious. This was about as close as I would get.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/s720x720/308093_2353776042445_1191495327_2917896_4726359_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/s720x720/308093_2353776042445_1191495327_2917896_4726359_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This was the next day. I had decided I wasn't going to let things be awkward or general, that we needed to get to know each other. So we went to Starbucks. She brought this shirt with her from Kansas for me. That day was much better. After Starbucks, we walked around the mall, and then...</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/s720x720/294610_2353777682486_1191495327_2917903_109361_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/s720x720/294610_2353777682486_1191495327_2917903_109361_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We went to Keri's house. If you don't know Keri.. Well, she is a saint. She said things neither Nichol or I could, but things that needed to be said nevertheless. I talked to her for hours after Nichol left, and things ended up being really good. I was comfortable, and I felt much better. And unfortunately, her being here seemed to be mostly about me.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/s720x720/302036_2353779082521_1191495327_2917908_5294838_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/s720x720/302036_2353779082521_1191495327_2917908_5294838_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I had to pick up the dress for Alison's wedding(she's in the middle), and I ended up staying for dinner. I felt really good by then, and I could talk to Nichol just fine.. Without any help at all. (And I KNOW there were other pictures taken that night.. But lucky me, this was the only one that was easily accessible.)</td></tr>
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</div><div>I'm sure there's lots more photos I could have added, but I felt like these were the best to tell the story of her being here. She was here for a week. I think that was a good amount of time. Any longer, and I probably would have been screaming for a time out. Things went well, but I'm ready to settle down again. Emotional turmoil doesn't suit me. (:</div><div>That's the story! Any questions, anything I've left out, feel free to let me know. And now you know, too. About my crazy life. (:<br />
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<div style="text-align: right;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><i>got soul?</i></span></div></div>Stellar Meadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00769090748162705603noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6764186317005209066.post-12965222883114861352011-08-30T15:40:00.001-06:002011-08-30T15:40:41.810-06:00Another strikethrough.Strikethrough:<br />
<strike>Kiss someone in the pouring rain</strike><br />
With all the rain we've had lately, I'm sure you're as surprised as I am that I haven't been able to cross this off yet! But today, yet another item was crossed off my list. And it was fun! It was giggly, and it was a nice summer rain, so it wasn't too hot or too cold. Mother Nature sent us the perfect little downpour. I really did have a blast. You should put it on your list, too!<br />
That's all for now. I just thought I'd get on the ball before it was old news.<br />
How is everyone's "back to school" week going?Stellar Meadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00769090748162705603noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6764186317005209066.post-79842330049448329182011-08-29T14:34:00.001-06:002011-08-29T14:35:12.753-06:00Signs?Before I get right down to things- I find it very likely that I will be posting more on my other blog than this in days to come. Do not take that to mean I will be neglecting you! You can find my other blog <a href="http://stellarmeadow.wordpress.com/">here</a>, but I do intend to still ravish you with whatever attention I can spare. After all, I love you dearly.. And this blog receives much more attention than my other. (Also- I seem to be incapable of correctly spelling "receiving" the first time. I before e, except after c...)<br />
Today, something wonderful happened.. I had decided to attend an institute class with Dave. I walk into the room, and who is the teacher but Brother Paul Staples, my high school seminary president! I took that to be a sign and promptly signed up for the class. I stayed after and we talked for a good twenty minutes, catching up on things left behind. Talk about a blast from the past! Staples was a huge inspiration to me in my teens, and I am thrilled to be learning from him again. It was meant to be.<br />
There have been a lot of signs lately. Some have been small, others- like the appearance of Brother Staples- have been enormous. I take that to mean I'm finally going the right way. It feels so good to be finding myself.<br />
Life is so, so good. It does not do to dwell on thoughts of despair or misery when every day so far we've woken up to this beautiful world. Life is the greatest gift.. And I'm so happy about it. I love unwrapping this present every morning. I'm waking up earlier and earlier, making better and better decisions. Things are going right, and I feel good!<br />
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<div style="text-align: right;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><i>got soul?</i></span></div>Stellar Meadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00769090748162705603noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6764186317005209066.post-47425757226147824532011-08-28T14:14:00.000-06:002011-08-28T14:14:45.710-06:00The Screwtape LettersI'm reading The Screwtape Letters, as my it says right next to my picture(unless you're reading this a long time from now.) Either way, I find it almost ironic.<br />
Right now I am in the process of finding God. For those of you who have not read this book, it's letters from one devil to another, outlining ways to trap his "patient." I find it so interesting to be creating my own salvation whilst reading about the destruction of another's. Many of the ideas of the devil(not Devil) to beat down his patient are things I myself may be struggling with right now. It's quite the fresh perspective, and something to make you think..<br />
As I type, am I frustrating a devil to distraction? Is a soul receiving a serious reprimanding for my successes, because they are his failures? Something to think about, to be sure.<br />
What do you think? Is there suffering, even of a devil, because I am so elated? I encourage you to send me your thoughts- and also to read this book! Lewis is a master creator, thought-provoking and clear. If nothing else, I am enjoying the story. (:Stellar Meadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00769090748162705603noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6764186317005209066.post-31241418809846720792011-08-24T13:26:00.002-06:002011-08-24T13:26:24.830-06:00I am SO SORRY!!My computer has been down, as well as my internet. Both are quite obviously back up now, and I have so much to say! Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of time right now. But rest assured, I will be back. Back to tell you all the wonderful, crazy things that have been going on lately. Stay tuned!!<br />
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<div style="text-align: right;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">got soul?</span></div>Stellar Meadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00769090748162705603noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6764186317005209066.post-6437028583884815052011-07-26T12:07:00.000-06:002011-07-26T12:07:24.481-06:00Happy Birthday.<div style="background-color: #20124d; color: white; text-align: left;">Today, as you probably know, is July 26th. What you may not know is that it's the birthday of the most beautiful girl I've ever met. She passed nearly 3 years ago, but I still like to celebrate. I wrote this poem not long after she left us. I'm not sure if I've posted it before. Either way, I hope you enjoy it. I know I do.</div><div style="background-color: #20124d; color: white; text-align: left;">Happy Birthday Julia. A Jewel forever. <3</div><div style="background-color: #20124d; color: white; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="background-color: #20124d; color: white; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Left Me Alone</b></span></div><div style="background-color: #20124d; color: white; text-align: center;"><b><i>(a "found" poem)</i></b></div><div style="background-color: #20124d; color: white; text-align: center;"><b><br />
</b></div><div style="background-color: #20124d; color: white; text-align: center;"><b>Life stolen<br />
Left me alone<br />
Divine wings shone beneath me<br />
Secret evenings together<br />
Look:<br />
Light.<br />
Loud nights<br />
Clear balance<br />
Kept you easily, vainly<br />
Quickly trapped<br />
Everything strange, hiding, red<br />
Why?<br />
Chased glowing fire<br />
Tiptoe<br />
Cannot reach<br />
Reach the top<br />
Fell, burning<br />
Hidden forever<br />
Careful,<br />
Hold tight<br />
Never found.</b></div><div style="background-color: #20124d; color: white; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="background-color: #20124d; color: white; text-align: right;"><b><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><i>got soul?</i></span> </b></div>Stellar Meadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00769090748162705603noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6764186317005209066.post-20174169337248314082011-06-24T12:38:00.000-06:002011-06-24T12:38:07.139-06:00Makeup Lockup<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgShkvgRtN9p1bl3IR4eRsrkYtics-3oYJ5hi4g-UHDpJ_YsJ8cxYtOfpvTJ2I1GkP3C5aiZnWUJTVJPLSSJBk32tPFhAh24ymvrSV14NXkJzAeo6fhjfpLPQcuZioIQVPIm01LcGDko3w/s1600/makeuplockup.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="191" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgShkvgRtN9p1bl3IR4eRsrkYtics-3oYJ5hi4g-UHDpJ_YsJ8cxYtOfpvTJ2I1GkP3C5aiZnWUJTVJPLSSJBk32tPFhAh24ymvrSV14NXkJzAeo6fhjfpLPQcuZioIQVPIm01LcGDko3w/s320/makeuplockup.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Makeup Lockup</td></tr>
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">This is my makeup. I put it in the box, locked it, and taped a note over the front. I don't need this- and neither do you. You are beautiful all on your own. You don't need powders, creams, and brushes to turn heads. I allowed myself mascara and eyeliner for special occasions, but every other single "makeup" item I have is either in the trash, or in this box. And I'm keeping it out, so I can see it every day, and remember why it's there. <b>We don't need makeup.</b> I am more than the prettiest face I can muster. I have thoughts, ideas, hopes, fears- and I don't need to be pretty for any of that. I'm not here to impress you with my perfectly tinted cheekbones, I'd rather catch you with my smile. I don't greet you with my delightfully colored eyelids, I want to captivate you with my eyes. I don't need the perfect tan when I've got a hearty laugh on my side. Do my insights matter when you're busy checking my eyeliner for flaws? Are my teeth white enough for your liking, my tan lines subtle enough that you won't notice? Well, I'm sick of caring. Who I am can't shine through layers of foundation, bronzer, coverup, mascara, eyeliner, eyeshadow, blush, lipgloss... All anyone should need is the chapstick in their pocket and the love in their hearts.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">"Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart." -Kahlil Gibran</div>What I need from you, my friends, is support and love. I can be very self conscious without makeup, and I don't expect this will be easy. I could use all the love I can get.<br />
Xoxo!!Stellar Meadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00769090748162705603noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6764186317005209066.post-50615348526082440292011-06-23T12:55:00.000-06:002011-06-23T12:55:37.420-06:0040 things.Today, I happened to click on a link that someone had posted to facebook, and it took me <a href="http://www.marcandangel.com/2011/01/03/40-extraordinary-things-happening-right-now/">here</a>. 40 Extraordinary Things Happening Right Now. <b>Right now.</b> I loved it! I had a smile on my face through the entire list, and somehow I feel like I will be exploring this blog extensively in the next few days. It seems like the kind of thing that changes people.<br />
I know this was a really short post, but I would love it if you read the list and then come tell me what you think. Happy reading!!<br />
Xoxo.Stellar Meadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00769090748162705603noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6764186317005209066.post-18748864320331200782011-06-20T16:40:00.000-06:002011-06-20T16:40:16.628-06:00The Itch...Well, I've got it again. The itch. And boy, is it ITCHY!!!<br />
The itch to change.. Things are all the same again. But this craving is for a different kind of change.. I don't feel the urge to move my room around, to cut or dye my hair, to get a new car(though if you're offering, of course I won't decline). This isn't the itch to get a new look, go on a quick shopping spree, take a walk someplace new. I want <b>change.</b> I want to move to another country, build an orphanage for the homeless, go backpack through Europe, take a wild, crazy risk. I want to quit my job and go search for my soul on the beaches in Thailand, the mountains in New Zealand, the streets of Paris, the museums of Rome. I want to look for myself somewhere so far from home that it's almost silly.<br />
I want to jump in my car, put in a mix of good old fashioned rock and good new indie, and drive. And drive. And drive. I want to end up somewhere I never expected, learn things I could not have fathomed, do things I would have never believed. I want to explore, to meet people, to feel. I want to hear a strangers story, maybe tell them mine. I want to learn, to teach, to grow.<br />
This is a monumental itch, one that is entirely new to me. My soul is in here somewhere, and it is begging for me to scratch.Stellar Meadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00769090748162705603noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6764186317005209066.post-90280208668019011412011-05-02T19:37:00.002-06:002011-05-02T19:37:27.567-06:00Ps..He's mine.<br />
Yep, that's all I have to say.<br />
I finally have him, and I'm happier than I could have ever believed.<br />
Love you all dearly. (:Stellar Meadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00769090748162705603noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6764186317005209066.post-39561966084743907842011-05-01T20:28:00.000-06:002011-05-01T20:28:39.211-06:00Gratitude Challenge!In my Mind/Body connection class, our teacher posed a challenge. It was the last day of class. This wasn't something we had to do, just something she suggested. She called it a gratitude challenge. It goes something like this..<br />
Everyday for one year, write down 3 specific things you are thankful for.<br />
That's it! And it sounds so fantastic. I've already started, and it really does make you feel better. Just spending a few minutes each day to write down the good things that happened makes such a huge difference. It leaves me focusing on the good things that happened that day instead of the bad. It's a huge reminder of everything in life their is to be thankful for. Life is such a huge blessing, and I think sometimes we forget that.<br />
So this is me, challenging you!! Think about what you're grateful for in life, and if you're up for it, do the Gratitude Challenge. I promise it will be worth it!!<br />
<br />
"If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, 'thank you,' that would suffice."<br />
-Meister Eckhart<br />
<br />
"God gave you 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say 'thank you?'"<br />
-William A. WardStellar Meadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00769090748162705603noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6764186317005209066.post-35749848789802993242011-04-06T13:47:00.002-06:002011-04-06T13:50:47.471-06:00Because I CAN.I am going to CRY and SCREAM and SHOUT and YELL and HATE <b>EVERYTHING</b>. Why? Because I CAN.<br />
<br />
I am going to LOVE and HOPE and DANCE and SING and LAUGH and LOVE <b>EVERYTHING</b>. Why? Because, damn it, I CAN.<br />
<br />
I can do whatever the hell I want, be whoever I damn well please, act however I want- and I mean it!<br />
<br />
I don't have to follow your rules, I don't have to walk your path, I don't have to like your face- even if I probably will. I don't have to be miserable because it's "in." I don't have to be uncomfortable because it's "hip." I don't have to be like you because it's "cool." I love me, he loves me, they love me for who I am. You don't have to, but you'd better be ready to accept it, because I deserve it. I deserve to be who I am, to be who I want to be, and lucky for the world, I know it. I can feel it, and I can see it, and I can do it!!<br />
<br />
I'm gonna make mistakes, laugh until I cry, cry until I laugh, feel good, feel bad, do it wrong, do it right.<br />
<br />
I'm gonna live my own life.<br />
<br />
And I'll become someone amazing for it.<br />
<br />
I'm dating a 27 year old. I'm not Mormon, though most of the people I'm around regularly are. I listen to weird music, have a weird style, and get weird ideas. I don't like being just another face, like everyone else, following the crowd. I want to be the chick that everyone looks at and thinks, "What the hell is she doing?" I dance in the aisles at the grocery store, throw my head back and laugh in the rain, run around in my bare feet. I love girly dresses. I also love getting so ridiculously dirty that it takes ages to clean it up. I love constant change. I crave the new. I drink in experience and wonder and the chaos that is life.<br />
<br />
I'm gonna keep doing ALL of this- and hopefully even more. I hope you're ready, because it's gonna be one hell of a ride.Stellar Meadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00769090748162705603noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6764186317005209066.post-18574598203246304982011-03-17T18:56:00.016-06:002011-03-19T17:51:14.272-06:00Spring Break<img border="0" height="0" src="http://c.gigcount.com/wildfire/IMP/CXNID=2000002.0NXC/bHQ9MTMwMDQwOTcyNzA5MyZwdD*xMzAwNDA5ODA*NTYyJnA9Mzg2MzYxJmQ9Jm49YmxvZ2dlciZnPTEmbz1hYzM5YjAyZmFhMjQ*/NmE*YmMzNjI5YzQ*MjA5N2YyZSZvZj*w.gif" style="height: 0px; visibility: hidden; width: 0px;" width="0" /><br />
<div style="text-align: right; width: 480px;"><div style="text-align: left;">What did you do for Spring Break? California, maybe? A trip on a plane to somewhere warm and toasty? Did you work on your tan and meet someone intriguing on the beach? Pshaw, I say! Boring, conventional, positively normal! Did you ever think about spending the day playing in the rain and exploring locations you generally take for granted- with your best friend?!</div><div style="text-align: left;">Yes, that's right. I did something fabulous.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Lisette and I drove out to Antelope Island, and then explored the Hogle Zoo. Beautiful. We drove around for hours, listening to <a href="http://maximumfun.org/shows/my-brother-my-brother-and-me">My Brother, My Brother, and Me</a>, joking around, taking pictures. Pure bliss. I haven't had a day like that in a long time. <a href="http://s1087.photobucket.com/albums/j469/stellarmeadow13/Spring%20Break%202011/">These pictures</a> are simply my end of the picture taking. She has oodles more on her camera. And it was a blast!</div><div style="text-align: left;">Seriously, though.. If you live in Utah, have you been to Antelope Island? And when was the last time you took a peek at those lovely critters in the zoo? If you don't live in Utah.. I'm sure there are many places nearby that you never even think about. Sitting around, Saturday afternoon, bored out of your wits, you may pine for a getaway. A vacation, something away from the monotony of your everyday. What about that little spot less than an hour from your front door? Do you think about that? I'm 19, and I am nearly ashamed to say this was my first trip to the island- but it certainly won't be my last. It was positively gorgeous, and I'm just dying to see it in the sunshine.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Not to say I didn't enjoy the rain. I love rain! We had the place nearly all to ourselves. It was breezy and sprinkly and fun. We got a little silly, and I have to say, I was head over heels in love with this day. Looking out over the Great Salt Lake, listening to rain drum on the roof of the car, just being.. Fabulous. The life to live, for certain.</div><div style="text-align: left;">And the zoo!! There were only a few other people there, so no lines, no crowds, no rush. Just a couple <s>4 year old </s>teenagers running around and taking pictures. It was a blast. An experience I'm already longing to repeat.</div><div style="text-align: left;">So that's my Spring Break. A day full of mystery and adventure, just an hour from my house. I challenge you, the next time you need to escape, to escape somewhere nearby. Try it! See if maybe, just maybe, you actually enjoy it. (:</div></div>Stellar Meadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00769090748162705603noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6764186317005209066.post-78784409867559866532011-03-12T16:42:00.000-07:002011-03-12T16:42:22.146-07:00For youThis post is for you. Yes, you. My beloved audience, loving follower, first time reader.<br />
This post is for you. Beautiful soul, vibrant creature, beating heart.<br />
This post is for you. Drying tears, empty shell, lost purpose.<br />
This post is for you.<br />
<br />
You are beautiful. You are amazing, wonderful, delightful. You are a fantastic wreck. A steamroller of emotions, an ocean of tears, a terrified being. You are doing your best to make your way in this crazy world of ours. You scream, you cry, you laugh. You make mistakes, and you make wonders. You are a creator, a dreamer, a marvel. You feel alone sometimes. You often wonder if you can make it through the day. You shy away from the amazing potential that you have. You are frightened, nervous, uncertain. You feel as though you are stuck, as though you cannot be more than you are.<br />
<br />
I am here to tell you.. You can. You can be anything and everything you can dream. I can see your potential, your beauty, even if you can't. I love you, and care for you, even when you don't. I believe in you. I <b>know</b> that you will do amazing, astounding, awesome things in your life. Whether you realize it or not, you are divine. Your heart is a thing to be envied. You are filled with love, hope, and passion. Every day is a gift for you to treasure, and to make of it what you will. And when you realize just how powerful you really are, that you are in control of who you can be, that you hold the key to your happiness.. All I can say is, I will rejoice that day. My faith in your strength is only paralleled by your capacity for greatness. Look within; you will find that greatness in yourself. I can help to show you the way, but the ultimate journey is yours. Please, for your sake, take that step.<br />
<br />
Remember that I love you always. When you feel alone in the world, I am here for you. I will do everything in my power to make sure you know just how special you are. And I don't want you to ever forget.Stellar Meadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00769090748162705603noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6764186317005209066.post-85211256008703966352011-03-04T12:54:00.003-07:002011-03-04T12:59:12.313-07:00Finishing the 30 day challenge..A little late, for sure.<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">An art piece (drawing, sculpture, painting, etc) that means something to me.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">- A song that makes me cry (or nearly)</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">- A drawing that I have done.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">- A photograph of myself today + three good things that have happened in the past 31 days</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">Art piece:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; line-height: 18px;">Okay, I just spent like 20 minutes trying to decide what to give you.. And I've got nothing. So.. I love art. I am obsessed with arts festivals, museums, and just plain pretty pictures. I love fun designs, awesome crafts, funky music, the works. I will really try and think of something specific to put up, but my range is so broad, I just don't think it's going to happen.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; line-height: 18px;">A song that makes me cry:</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; line-height: 18px;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqfLVDIZcP8">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqfLVDIZcP8</a></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; line-height: 18px;">A drawing that I have done:</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; line-height: 18px;"><img height="240" src="http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/62517_1401202044117_1654317570_1201071_5454319_n.jpg" width="320" /></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; line-height: 18px;">I am NOT obsessed with starbucks!!... Okay, maybe I am. But I'm okay with that.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; line-height: 18px;">A Photograph of myself today and 3 good things:</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; line-height: 18px;"><img height="320" src="http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/189428_1593801818991_1654317570_1549269_3725936_n.jpg" width="210" /></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; line-height: 18px;">This was actually last night, but I figure it's close enough. 3 good things..</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; line-height: 18px;">1. I finished Pride & Prejudice!!</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; line-height: 18px;">2. I have been dancing every single Monday & Thursday since I finished training at work.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; line-height: 18px;">3. The super cute guy from Studio asked for my number!!</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; line-height: 18px;">So there's me finished. The challenge is OVA!!! Even if it took a lot longer than 30 days, I'm proud of myself. I hope I haven't bored you to death, and that maybe you've learned at least something interesting! Much love to you all. (:</span></span>Stellar Meadowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00769090748162705603noreply@blogger.com0