The Screwtape Letters

I'm reading The Screwtape Letters, as my it says right next to my picture(unless you're reading this a long time from now.) Either way, I find it almost ironic.
Right now I am in the process of finding God. For those of you who have not read this book, it's letters from one devil to another, outlining ways to trap his "patient." I find it so interesting to be creating my own salvation whilst reading about the destruction of another's. Many of the ideas of the devil(not Devil) to beat down his patient are things I myself may be struggling with right now. It's quite the fresh perspective, and something to make you think..
As I type, am I frustrating a devil to distraction? Is a soul receiving a serious reprimanding for my successes, because they are his failures? Something to think about, to be sure.
What do you think? Is there suffering, even of a devil, because I am so elated? I encourage you to send me your thoughts- and also to read this book! Lewis is a master creator, thought-provoking and clear. If nothing else, I am enjoying the story. (:

I am SO SORRY!!

My computer has been down, as well as my internet. Both are quite obviously back up now, and I have so much to say! Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of time right now. But rest assured, I will be back. Back to tell you all the wonderful, crazy things that have been going on lately. Stay tuned!!

got soul?

Happy Birthday.

Today, as you probably know, is July 26th. What you may not know is that it's the birthday of the most beautiful girl I've ever met. She passed nearly 3 years ago, but I still like to celebrate. I wrote this poem not long after she left us. I'm not sure if I've posted it before. Either way, I hope you enjoy it. I know I do.

Happy Birthday Julia. A Jewel forever. <3

Left Me Alone

(a "found" poem)

Life stolen
Left me alone
Divine wings shone beneath me
Secret evenings together
Look:
Light.
Loud nights
Clear balance
Kept you easily, vainly
Quickly trapped
Everything strange, hiding, red
Why?
Chased glowing fire
Tiptoe
Cannot reach
Reach the top
Fell, burning
Hidden forever
Careful,
Hold tight
Never found.

got soul?

Makeup Lockup

Makeup Lockup

Makeup Throwout

This is my makeup. I put it in the box, locked it, and taped a note over the front. I don't need this- and neither do you. You are beautiful all on your own. You don't need powders, creams, and brushes to turn heads. I allowed myself mascara and eyeliner for special occasions, but every other single "makeup" item I have is either in the trash, or in this box. And I'm keeping it out, so I can see it every day, and remember why it's there. We don't need makeup. I am more than the prettiest face I can muster. I have thoughts, ideas, hopes, fears- and I don't need to be pretty for any of that. I'm not here to impress you with my perfectly tinted cheekbones, I'd rather catch you with my smile. I don't greet you with my delightfully colored eyelids, I want to captivate you with my eyes. I don't need the perfect tan when I've got a hearty laugh on my side. Do my insights matter when you're busy checking my eyeliner for flaws? Are my teeth white enough for your liking, my tan lines subtle enough that you won't notice? Well, I'm sick of caring. Who I am can't shine through layers of foundation, bronzer, coverup, mascara, eyeliner, eyeshadow, blush, lipgloss... All anyone should need is the chapstick in their pocket and the love in their hearts.

"Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart." -Kahlil Gibran

What I need from you, my friends, is support and love. I can be very self conscious without makeup, and I don't expect this will be easy. I could use all the love I can get.
Xoxo!!

40 things.

Today, I happened to click on a link that someone had posted to facebook, and it took me here. 40 Extraordinary Things Happening Right Now. Right now. I loved it! I had a smile on my face through the entire list, and somehow I feel like I will be exploring this blog extensively in the next few days. It seems like the kind of thing that changes people.
I know this was a really short post, but I would love it if you read the list and then come tell me what you think. Happy reading!!
Xoxo.

The Itch...

Well, I've got it again. The itch. And boy, is it ITCHY!!!
The itch to change.. Things are all the same again. But this craving is for a different kind of change.. I don't feel the urge to move my room around, to cut or dye my hair, to get a new car(though if you're offering, of course I won't decline). This isn't the itch to get a new look, go on a quick shopping spree, take a walk someplace new. I want change. I want to move to another country, build an orphanage for the homeless, go backpack through Europe, take a wild, crazy risk. I want to quit my job and go search for my soul on the beaches in Thailand, the mountains in New Zealand, the streets of Paris, the museums of Rome. I want to look for myself somewhere so far from home that it's almost silly.
I want to jump in my car, put in a mix of good old fashioned rock and good new indie, and drive. And drive. And drive. I want to end up somewhere I never expected, learn things I could not have fathomed, do things I would have never believed. I want to explore, to meet people, to feel. I want to hear a strangers story, maybe tell them mine. I want to learn, to teach, to grow.
This is a monumental itch, one that is entirely new to me. My soul is in here somewhere, and it is begging for me to scratch.